are you the best version of yourself?

credit {here}

when i take the time to envision my best self, physically i don’t picture myself all that differently.  where the shift takes place is more so in my attitude towards myself and others.  my best self doesn’t obsess over the fact that she ate too much last night or replay the same frustrating moment again…and again…and again in her head.  she doesn’t impatiently follow people too closely in her car, and she doesn’t get annoyed at her husband for petty, insignificant reasons.

she’s self-possessed and calm.  and glows with an unearthly radiance that only comes with the true understanding that our world is what we make it, and nothing more.  her actions are purposeful and clear, and the base of all she does is love and compassion.

when i finish with a visualization like that, i feel refreshed and renewed.  the challenge is to keep that grounded feeling as you continue about your day, even when some jackass guy cuts you off when you’re driving.  notice your knee-jerk reaction.  just notice.  and if you don’t act on it (i.e. beep, curse, flip him the bird or whatever other creative thing you can think of), it will subside.  i promise.  and you can pat yourself on the back for reacting from your ‘best self’ – not the self that has a tendency to grit her teeth and mumble an obscenity under her breath.

deep down, we all long to be free from these baser instincts – that inner mean girl that tells you you’re fat or unattractive, the harsh critic who scoffs at your self-improvement attempts, the nasty lady who snaps at her husband.  that mean girl is not you.  and she is the only ‘person’ who truly deserves your fierceness.  so, next time the snotty lady stops by, tell her to take a hike.  then take a deep breath, and revel in your instantaneous (if momentary) transformation into the best version of yourself.
 
meditation prompt for your journal or cushion:
what does your best self look like?  act like?

weekend menu: happy birthday, mom!

today is my mom's birthday. we're heading out to dinner at a fabulous restaurant that has a gorgeous river view, then we're heading back to my parents' house for birthday cake - chocolate orange ganache tart - and presents.  and tomorrow i'm cooking a b-day brunch - biscuits with scrambled eggs, caramelized onions with rosemary and bernaise.

food and birthdays seem to go hand in hand.  there's something about delicious food, good conversation, and a well-mixed cocktail that makes any celebration better!

mom's favorite cocktail: gin gimlet

i think mom would love this variation: ginger pear gimlet

mom's birthday cake: chocolate orange ganache tart

this deliciously rich ganache tart has an orange wafer crust and is sprinkled with toasted nuts - recipe {here}

mom's brunch: biscuits (with eggs, chicken sausage and caramelized onions)

 photo credit & recipe {here}

happy, happy, happy birthday, mom!

foodie wednesday: super easy guac!

guacamole tastes good on just about everything - pita chips, veggie burgers, salad, tacos, scrambled eggs, a spoon.  if you've got a hankering for some guac, this super simple, 3-ingredient recipe will never let you down.

1 avocado, cut into 1/4 inch cubes
1 medium tomato, cut into 1/4 inch cubes
1 tbsp fresh squeezed lime juice
sea salt

gently toss the avocado with the lime juice to coat it (and keep it from browning), and then mix in the tomato.  season with salt, and you're all set!

recently, we topped homemade veggie burgers with it, and it was delish!

bon appetit!

stop apologizing for being you

trying to “fit in” is exhausting.  yet, at different moments throughout my life, i can recall that “fitting in” was the only thing that i cared about.  in fifth grade, it was “fitting in” with the popular girls, and in high school, my tennis team, and even just recently, i found myself longing to be defined wholly by my yoga practice - instead of letting my practice be an extension of who i am.

credit {here}

as an individual who tends to gravitate towards the “black” and “white” of things, in my mind, if i wanted to be a true yogi, i needed to become a vegan, pierce my nose, drink wheatgrass and eliminate my carbon footprint.  but all those external factors (that i felt i should impose upon myself in order to become a “real” yoga practitioner) have nothing to do with my authentic self.  they’re not me.  they’re not cailen. 

my nose isn’t pierced (yet, haha), and i like drinking cosmos at happy hour.  i can’t do all yoga poses perfectly (far from it), and i don’t know all their sanskrit names.  i’m not always calm or ego-free, though i’m working on it.  i really, really am.  meditation kicks my butt, and i can be totally impatient, and that bothers me.  i’m hard on myself sometimes and still struggle with my self-image sometimes.  but, overall, i’m getting better at accepting me…all of me…perceived flaws and all.

i like yoga and vodka.  does that make me less of a yogi?  i don’t think so.  yoga is the unity of all of who you are – body, mind and soul.  and it takes real guts to stand in all of who you are. 

i’ve come to realize that fitting in is kind of boring.  it’s expected and encourages you to define your life from the outside-in.  when you try to fit in, you live your life according to what you think you should do, wear, eat or say, instead of moving outward from your inner wisdom.  fitting-in is a life disconnected.

so, come back to yourself, and see the beauty that was always there.  no apologies.

yoga video: make your practice all about you!

my perfect weekend menu

friday night dinner:


mashed sweet potatoes with spinach & goat cheese

saturday night happy hour:


champagne cosmopolitan cocktail - my two favorite drinks combined!!!

saturday night dinner:

the yoga pot - delicious combo of lentils, zucchini & ginger.  yum!

sunday morning brunch:

blackberry-lemon coffee cake

hope you have a delicious weekend!

foodie wednesday: sesame pasta

i love this pasta!  it's great as either a side or an entree, and delicious cold, warm or room-temperature!  if you bring this to a party, i guarantee you'll get several requests for the recipe : )

credit {here}

sauce ingredients:
2 tablespoons sesame seeds, toasted
1/2 cup soy sauce
1/3 cup sesame oil
1 teaspoon sugar
1 teaspoon ground ginger
1 teaspoon white wine vinegar
1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper

pasta ingredients:
1 pound pasta, such as angel hair
2 large carrots, grated
1/2 pound snow peas, strung and washed
thinly sliced scallions for garnish             

credit {here}

1. mix all sauce ingredients in a bowl and set aside.

2. cook the pasta in boiling water. one minute before pasta is done, add the carrots and the snow peas to the pasta pot. drain pasta and vegetables immediately, but do not rinse.

3. place pasta and vegetables in serving bowl. pour sauce over; toss well to mix. garnish with scallions.

serves 4 as a main course or 8 as a side or starter.

bon appetit!

open heart

craig & me on our wedding day - taken by m2 photography

i give you my heart, fully open.
no strings attached -
unfettered and unencumbered,
vulnerable and fully surrendering.
 
i give you my heart, willingly.
no expectations –
free of walls or rigidity,
boundless and endless.
 
i give you my heart, my love.
nothing held back –
all things for you,
all thoughts of you.

my heart is yours.

(one guess who i wrote that for.  happy valentine's day, baby!)


happy <3 day, mavens!