give yourself a break!

i don’t feel like doing anything.  the past week or so i’ve been suffering from a major lack of motivation.  my energy is waning, and i feel like i’m pushing myself to just get the bare minimum done, let alone all the other countless things that i could be working on.  my tendency when emotions like this crop up is to “power-through” to the best of my ability.  and when i inevitably crash, i beat myself up for not doing more…

credit {here}

instead of surrendering to and accepting the feeling, i continue to bump up against it and fight it.  pushing it away, only to have it bombard me again moments later.  that, in and of itself, is exhausting.  i must admit, i’m not new to this cycle of events – when i was younger and dissatisfied with the size and shape of my body, i would diet and force my body into a battle against itself.  instead of trying to work with my hunger, i fought it.  and fighting, especially when it’s with yourself, takes you in circles.

my mom says “if you want to keep on gettin’ what your gettin’, keep on doin’ what you’re doin’” – i.e. if i want this lack-of-motivation spell to end, i have to change the way in which i’m dealing with it.  easier said than done…

but let’s give it a go, anyway.  so, with that thought in mind, what could i do differently to change my current reality?  well, instead of pushing myself to my limits, i could honor the fact that i might need a break, and…take a break!  (a novel concept, i know.)  or, instead of continually thinking, “what’s wrong with me?  why don’t i want to do anything?  why do i feel like things are at a standstill?”, i could work to silence that inner critic with a deep breathing and mindfulness.  and perhaps, in the quiet, motivation or a new idea or peace of mind could creep in.  and honestly, just writing this post is making me feel better, so i guess just writing about it – and sharing my feelings with others – is helpful, too.

as a culture, we’ve been taught to fight against unpleasant emotion, because we are a nation of doers not experiencers.  instead of surrendering to the feeling, and letting it wash over us like a wave that will eventually ebb, we prepare for battle, thinking if we set up enough barricades we can stop the wave in its tracks…which never happens.   what if, instead of always doing more we felt more.  and instead of judging our emotions and feelings, we got curious about them and tried to look at them in a more objective way.  perhaps, we would discover that they are not something to be fought, but rather a lesson waiting to be embraced. 

i feel better already….

meditation prompt for your journal or cushion:

what emotion do you continually fight?
what would it be like to just sit with it, without pushing it away?

a maven revelation

do you know why we’re tired and stressed all the time?  because we’re all desperately trying to live according to externally imposed standards and ideals.  we’re instructed to work 9-5, told to eat this, not that and that we should want to make a ton of money or be super skinny (i mean really, who decided a size 2 was the perfect size for all women?).  we’re suppressed by the latest diet, the newest gadget that we need to have and the latest health study, but we rarely look inward for the answers.  (and the answers are there, believe me.  if you’re quiet enough and patient enough to listen.) 

deep down we all know there’s a better way.  a way without diets or rules or “should wants” or “should haves” or “should dos”.  we know that there’s an innate wisdom that can guide us closer to our best selves. 

evaluate your health and happiness.  are you becoming your optimal self, or just morphing into somebody else’s version of what you should be?  do you feel effortlessly fabulous and in sync with your needs?  think about it.  what do you really want for yourself?  what makes sense and feels good for you (and no one else)?  don’t worry about what other people might think or say (that’s just wasted energy).  be a little selfish (it’s ok once in a while), and think about what works best for you.

so, what can you do today to get closer to your inner maven?  the girl who doesn’t give a damn that she’s “not supposed to” eat dessert because it’s “bad” for her.  the girl who speaks her mind and follows her heart.  the girl whose vivacity and courage to be herself is completely contagious.  acknowledge her.  it’s as simple as that.

i’ll start it off to get the ball rolling : ) 

i’m a maven because i make it a priority in my life to do things i love (i.e. practicing yoga, cooking, going to happy hour : )

so, girl, what makes you a maven?

wise words

i've happened upon a lot of fabulous blogs lately that offer such powerful messages to women about self-acceptance.  i feel that, across the board, self-acceptance is something we all deal with at some point in our lives.  too often it feels like we're meant to "fight" against ourselves and our bodies to achieve perfection.  but true joy is in the act of letting go.  letting go of the idea of perfection.  letting go of negative self-talk.  when you release all the negativity, you create space in your life for beauty...true beauty.  the kind that shines from the inside out.

credit {here}

here are some of the lovely ladies whose words inspire me...

mastin @ the daily love
kerri @ your wishcake
ashlee @ where my heart resides


so, girls, whose words inspire you to live better?

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You Decide How You Feel!

I know, I hate it too when people tell me "the only person who can make you sad/mad/happy is you!". Yet, as much as I may hate to hear it, I know deep down it's true. No one else has control over your inner workings and thoughts. You alone have the ability to dwell on the problem, seek the solution or let it go. You alone can decide whether or not to see the "silver lining" in any given situation.

As much as it may feel like other people are making you feel this or that. When it really comes down to it, you alone have the power to let their decisions and words affect you (or not). It's your choice.

Choose wisely : )

Boost Self-Esteem Effortlessly : )

1. Be positive! Practice positive self-talk. So many of us list all our flaws the second we look in the mirror. Instead, make a conscious effort to practice positive (or at least neutral) self-talk. Recognize the blueness of your eyes, the beauty of your posture or the curl of your hair. Positive self-talk is key to a healthy relationship with your body.

2. Smile! Smiling is a wonderful way to improve your mood and feel better about yourself. So, when the blues are setting in, put a smile on your face and feel the effect ripple throughout your body.

3. Practice Yoga. Studies show that women who practice yoga regularly (at least 2-3 times per week) have much higher self-esteem and lower instances of eating disorders and mid-life weight gain than women who do not practice. So, grab your mat and say "Om" and revel in your new found mind-body connection.

For more information about Cailen Ascher Design or my book, Well-Designed Living, visit www.CailenAscher.bravehost.com or email CailenAscher@gmail.com.

Finding the True You

Though all our lives take different courses, I've realized lately that we're all really searching for just one thing. The true essence of who we are. We long to understand what makes us "tick", and when we discover this elusive concept, we can begin to truly appreciate and be at peace with who we are. Lately, I've just begun to sense who I REALLY am - and I'm not talking about all the superficial "fluff" that people think they're made of (i.e. clothes, cars, careers, etc.). I'm talking about that deep-down, undeniable core of who you are.

How did I begin to "see" this inner me? One word. Yoga. Until the past few months, I never really "got" yoga. I thought is was a trendy fitness cliche for celebs and celeb wanna-bes. But, as I began to practice more frequently and do research on my own, I began to discover what yogis have known for centuries...Yoga opens you up and puts you in touch with your inner self. It clears your mind, opens your heart and challenges your body. It helps you to be present as you focus on your breath. Yoga sets you free (for a little while at least) from the trials and tribulations of daily life.

So, for me it is yoga. For you, it may be something else that helps you to see beyond all the outer layers that cover your true core. But whatever it is, it's worth looking for. Believe me.

Happy, healthy 2010!